[Don't worry, Jun's going to let guilt eat at him enough for the both of them. He's not all that used to setting boundaries, even if he's heard many times from his therapist and his loved ones that he should do that. Still... it's not a great feeling]
It's alright, I know you didn't.
[Nngh, he should probably explain]
It's not that I don't think I'm good, I know I'm good at what I do. And I know you think highly of me, I don't question how much you love me.
But Seal Knights aren't meant to get egos about themselves, it'd be dangerous. And being perceived as the "best" has brought me no shortage of trouble, as you know.
[ Varian certainly would rather he didn't feel that, but that's something he does know they both need to work on. He reads Jun's explanation, and with it comes understanding. ]
I can see where it would, yeah. I think you deserve the world and I think that sometimes... trips me up a little there. I understand why you can't indulge in it. Why you have to keep some distance from it. I'll try to be a little more careful in the future with that.
[And because he can guess Jun's not comfortable about this and does want him to know it's okay to do this. More than okay, really, and he feels some reassurance might be needed here. ]
Seriously, thanks for talking to me about it. I know it's... not easy for you to lay down boundaries, but I'm glad you did and I'm so proud of you for doing it. I'm okay. I love you.
See, that's the thing. Even if you're right and I do deserve it, I don't even want the world. I just want you. [He felt that was important to make clear.] But thank you, Var.
[He trusts Varian to sincerely try, now that he's made his side clear. But he's not wrong that it was uncomfortable to do. Just seeing Varian reassure him makes him breath out a little in relief. ]
Haha, well you have been a big proponent of talking things out recently. So I felt I owed you and our relationship that much.
[He really did want things to work and last between them. Which... even he recognizes sometimes requires conversations like this. Better to get it out now than let it stew and build into something worse, right?]
[Varian smiles a little, feeling the tension ease out of his shoulders, that knot of guilt lessen.]
Well, I'm afraid you're the only one for me, you've got me by my whole heart and soul, so there's no getting rid of me. I... think it's important that we can talk to each other about stuff that bothers us and figure out how to help make each other's lives better. If that means adjusting how I act a little so I'm not hurting you? Then it's well worth the conversation.
So thank you, I appreciate it and YOU for talking to me.
[Varian is in here for the longest of long hauls, he'd really like them to be on solid, even ground, and that means communication! Which is far, far better than letting things stew. That one never works well for him. ]
Private
It's alright, I know you didn't.
[Nngh, he should probably explain]
It's not that I don't think I'm good, I know I'm good at what I do. And I know you think highly of me, I don't question how much you love me.
But Seal Knights aren't meant to get egos about themselves, it'd be dangerous. And being perceived as the "best" has brought me no shortage of trouble, as you know.
Private
I can see where it would, yeah. I think you deserve the world and I think that sometimes... trips me up a little there. I understand why you can't indulge in it. Why you have to keep some distance from it. I'll try to be a little more careful in the future with that.
[And because he can guess Jun's not comfortable about this and does want him to know it's okay to do this. More than okay, really, and he feels some reassurance might be needed here. ]
Seriously, thanks for talking to me about it. I know it's... not easy for you to lay down boundaries, but I'm glad you did and I'm so proud of you for doing it. I'm okay. I love you.
Private
[He trusts Varian to sincerely try, now that he's made his side clear. But he's not wrong that it was uncomfortable to do. Just seeing Varian reassure him makes him breath out a little in relief. ]
Haha, well you have been a big proponent of talking things out recently. So I felt I owed you and our relationship that much.
[He really did want things to work and last between them. Which... even he recognizes sometimes requires conversations like this. Better to get it out now than let it stew and build into something worse, right?]
Private
[Varian smiles a little, feeling the tension ease out of his shoulders, that knot of guilt lessen.]
Well, I'm afraid you're the only one for me, you've got me by my whole heart and soul, so there's no getting rid of me. I... think it's important that we can talk to each other about stuff that bothers us and figure out how to help make each other's lives better. If that means adjusting how I act a little so I'm not hurting you? Then it's well worth the conversation.
So thank you, I appreciate it and YOU for talking to me.
[Varian is in here for the longest of long hauls, he'd really like them to be on solid, even ground, and that means communication! Which is far, far better than letting things stew. That one never works well for him. ]